Writing Testimonies

[fennywest]

In your writing you may often be greeted with misunderstanding. When this happens you have to take it in your strides and move on.


I wrote a poem using ‘pigeon English’ which is s an adulterated form of English spoken in a part of Nigeria, West Africa,
One of my reader responded

Fen, in one word - BRILLIANT! Bless you mightily!

Louis Hemmings

Another responded:

Hello, my "friend" ...

Read over what you sent me. Sure does sound a little demonic???

I'm praying for you.


Here is the poem

Una Don Hear My Tory

Una don hear my tory?
Me ade very pregnant O.
My water go soon burst!

No be me say so....

No weapon them form against you go prosper
You go step on the lion and cobra
You go laugh at calamity
No bad news go shake you
God go fight 4 you and you go hold your peace
De people way come against you in one way
Them go run away seven ways, shaken, beaten, battered
You no go wear a coat of shame
In Jesus name, Amen and Amen.



Never mind if you’re confused too there is a translation below.

translation
Diane you may not have heard that type of language before hence it sounded demonic to you, unfortunately.

This is Nigerian native English- adulterated ; pigeon English is the real term.

By the grace of God I am safe, sound, and demonic oppression is far from me.


Here is the translation:

Have you heard my story?
I am pregnant
my water will soon burst....


No weapon formed against you will prosper
You will step on the lion and cobra
You will laugh at calamity.
No bad news will shake you.
God will fight for you and you will hold your peace.
Those who come against you in one way
Will flee away in seven ways,
Shaken, beaten, battered, broken.
You will not wear a coat of shame.
In Jesus name, Amen and Amen.



On other occasions you will find a ‘satisfied customer’ whose comments will oil your writing engine like this:


Hi Fenny thank you for these lyrics they have encouraged me and given me hope for my country Kenya yes this is a time for Unity for my country men and women. a time when the Lord will wipe away our tears and give us joy. thank you so much for giving me hope today and i know that the Spirit of God will help us kenyans and give us peace. thank you and God bless you.
Elizabeth

This shall be a time for unity

This shall be a time for harmony
In His presence there shall be symphony
Unity, harmony, symphony.

Unity triggers the anointing.
Harmony ropes in His power.
Symphony attracts the glory of God;
Unity, Harmony, symphony.

The anointing breaks every yoke.
The power of God opens prison doors.
The glory of God shall be your rearguard;
Unity, harmony, symphony.

Others:

Mightier than the Tunder
This is gorgeous poetry Fen feels like a tale song. Your creativity is soaring high. I agree with you that God and salvation is an awesome high better than drugs. God is stronger medecine always
From Reforrmation to regeneration
I looove this poem about being born of the Spirit and renewed. I had this experience 6 years ago and changed my whole life!! It's so true what u say about reformation to transformation while individual suffering has no respite and collectively the world also. We nevertheless continue to found a refuge in His Spirit renewed in the midst of the rubble or bubbles for others. To be led in the Spirit by gift of prophecy is highly powerful! It is evident in your unique poetry. My husband told me about this in I Cor. 14:20.. Spirit directed living is infantile in many ways and the maturing believer has to be told and guided at every turn by God. You raise another beautiful parable about the son coming back home after being lost for a long time. This is a very strong reference. The final touch is sensational with this. God bless!

At other times your readers can offer critique that can help you improve

Waking by the Spirit

Waking by the Spirit is loving peace;
Going from slave to sin to mastering sin;
Dying to self, crucifying the flesh;
Being full of good fruit, impartial, sincere.

Walking by the Spirit is sensitivity to the Spirit;
Going where He pleases and doing what He says;
Eating and drinking the Word of life for abundant life;
Letting your light shine; being a city on a hill.
Tempering your temper and your tongue;
Walking in love, joy, peace, goodness, kindness
Patience, self-control, humility, gentleness
Compassion, harmony, wisdom, faithfulness
Praying and praying and praying without ceasing.


Firstly, I think you meant, "Walking by the Spirit", not 'Waking by the Spirit". The message here is good, but I'm not sure this would be considered poetry in the true sense of the word. Although poetry does not have to rhyme, it does need to have some type of rhythm or flow, which I don't see here.
I hope I'm not being too harsh, but I believe you have all the elements here to create something special, with just a little work.

David

This let to a revision as shown below.

Revision


Walking by the Spirit is loving peace;
Letting your slavery and struggle cease;
Going from victim, to a victor;
And yielding to the Great Intercessor.
Dying daily to self, crucifying flesh;
Bearing Spirit-fruit, negating sin’s crush;
Going where He pleases, doing what He says;
Shunning the Broad Way, walking the Narrow Way;
Being a gentle giant, adamant in trials
Praying without ceasing, persevering in denials

Waking by the Spirit is…
Eating the Word, drinking the water of life,
Heeding His voice, living abundant life,
Making Him Your choice, letting your light shine,
Reading and interpreting well divine sign;
Being a City on a Hill, tempering your temper
Taming your tongue, ignoring the Tempter
Walking in love, joy, peace, goodness, kindness
Cultivating compassion and faithfulness.
Sowing to the spirit, loving with your heart
Giving Him your all and not just a part.




So my friend, take time to encourage others as you read. You could be a catalyst to something great in the offing.

© Fenny West2009